I have had to edit this post as it had personal information in and as my blog is no longer anonymous, (I have been discovered), I have had to edit it to remove any personal references.22/12/2011
So time for another serious blog post I think! Forced marriages to me is parenting gone wrong!!
Forced marriages tend to hit the headlines a lot and unfortunately are a common ocurrance. Alot of the time the parents think they are doing the right thing by their child and that they have picked the best spouse possible. However sometimes it can be to do with land issues etc. Please note arranged marriages are different to forced marriages.
I see it all too often in forums I browse…. ‘My parents want me to marry so and so but I don’t want to. What should I do?’
The usual reply is islamically no-one can force you so just say no. It is your right to say no.
If only it was as easy as that.
It is simple for brothers and sisters to sit in the comfort of their own homes tapping away at their PC’s and laptops and saying ‘Hey no problem, you just have to say no.’ They probably have not been put in this situation and unlikely (inshAllah) to be put into this position so it’s easy for them to say that.
One comment from a sister totally infuriated me. It was something along the lines of well if you go ahead and get married willingly to keep your parents happy then it’s not really forced is it?? How naive. She does not know what this sister may be going through.
The purpose of this post really is to reach out to any sisters who may be going through something similar and to show them they are not alone. Also to show the term ‘forced’ isn’t as clear cut as being physically dragged by your hair kicking and screaming.
If anyone just wants someone to listen to them then I can offer my ear!
Also if any of you are being forced into a marriage then you can also get help from this organisation: Forced Marriage Unit
It is going to be difficult to wipe out forced marriages even though islamically it is incorrect.