Death (again!)

It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth — and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up — that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.– Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Yes another post about death….. I am getting quite morbid aren’t I?? You can read my other posts on death here and here. 
We are all going to experience death at some point, some sooner than later. We are all going to die.
I think the first time I experienced death was when my grandfather died. However, because he was in Pakistan and we were here it didn’t affect me so much because I wasn’t overly close to him. I just remember my dad sitting quietly in the garden on his own when he heard the news.
The first proper death I experienced was the death of my brother when I was 15. I can safely say that messed me up for a while. It affected my parents deeply and it still does. They do say a parent should never have to see a child die. It just doesn’t seem natural.
But the children have to see their parents die. And that is what I have been thinking about recently.
Some people can lose a parent even before they are born, some at an early age so that they do not remember them, others later in life.
Alhamdulillah I still have both my parents and recently I have noticed how old my father, in particular, is looking. I have never thought about it because for his age (71) he is very active mashAllah. He even comes round to my house to do odd jobs (my hubby is useless at DIY!) I tell him not to but sometimes he sneaks in while I am at work.
However he has been suffering from severe headaches for some time. The GP EVENTUALLY sent him to have some injections in his neck to see if that will help. The only problem was he had to come off some other medication which is used to thin his blood 5 days before he had his injections. That in itself was worrying as he suffers from angina.
A few weeks ago I came home from work early to take him to the hospital as it was not in our city but in a town nearby. We were not allowed to stay with him while he had them done. I could tell my mum did not want to leave him but they insisted we had to wait in the waiting room.
3 hours later he came out and he looked like a different man. He looked so frail and he was unsteady on his feet. We had to hold on to him as in all honesty it looked like he could collapse at any moment. 
That is when it  hit me that my dad is not indestructible and one day I will lose him.
So I just wanted to say respect your parents. Cherish the time you have with them. Try to resolve any differences you may have with them before it is too late.

Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

– Amelia Burr
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11 Comments

  1. Inspiring Always
    September 15, 2011 / 7:12 am

    Thank you for this great reminder, Foz.

    In their old age, our parents need most are our love and attention. They don't need any money or other material things.

    By the way, I am giving you the Liebster Blog Award. You can see the full details on my blog http://love-whisperer.blogspot.com/2011/09/love-and-gratitude.html

    Cheers and take care!

  2. MarieHarmony
    September 15, 2011 / 1:50 pm

    Foz, I think we need reminders like this to cherish life and our loved ones. We always think we have time but it's wrong. We never know what can happen.
    One of my best friend lost her dad 4 years ago, heart attack, no time to say goodbye. This day I was in shock and I realised this too could happen to me, that my dad and all my loved ones won't be eternal, that one day would take them away from me.
    I try now as much as I can to pass on the things we don't agree on and to express my feelings, so that I won't regret and that outstanding will be solved before it's too late.

    Thanks Foz and hope your dad will stay well long enough for you an your family to enjoy his presence and share your love. Take care.

  3. Diane
    September 15, 2011 / 4:25 pm

    Thank you very much for this reminder Foz,
    you totally moved me away.. i teared up so much.
    I want to call my MOM, i want to be with her tomorrow as soon as I can..
    feel sorry, i'm guilty..

    I just hope your Dad will be okay, healthy, and stay well long enough~for you to show your love to him, as well as your family.

    salaam..

  4. The Black Jubah
    September 15, 2011 / 4:26 pm

    Assalamualikum Foz, I guess we have the same interest….Rasulullah SAW said ( I'm not that good at hadith )."The most intelligent of you, are those that always remember death and prepares towards it".

  5. Foz
    September 15, 2011 / 6:34 pm

    @Inspiring Always, thank you for the award!! Will post it on the blog in the next few days inshAllah

    @Marie, Thanks for the comments! My Dad is pretty much back to his usual self at the moment thankfully.

    @Diane, you are welcome. Yep you should call her! 🙂

    Wa Alaikum asalaam Black Jubah. JazakAllah for the comment!

  6. September 16, 2011 / 3:49 am

    I feel lucky now
    (as I age) that I tasted death earlier…my father. When my son died, it was a shock, but, not as bad as it could have been.

    I pray that your father will be with you for a while longer, inshaAllah.

  7. Aiman
    September 16, 2011 / 10:01 am

    I hope and pray that ur parents and other beloved ones live with for longest and in health specially ur father , as he is right now sick.

    I pray that he gets better soon ameen.
    I lost my mother like 7 years ago, and i wasn't even close to her….she was in pakistan and i was in uk studying.

    It was soooooooo devastating that it took me years to recover while leaving behind a large empty hole inside me. I am a changed person now. But i guess this is where we have to make our faith stronger on ALLAH that one day we all have to go back to our CREATOR and in JANNAH inshallah we will be united again IF we make it to heaven.

  8. Aiman
    September 16, 2011 / 10:09 am

    You have awards waiting at my blog

  9. Nas
    September 16, 2011 / 11:42 am

    Jazakallah khair for the reminder. We humans rarely do realise the value of something until it is lost or is about to be lost.

    We all have to go one day, but it is my prayer that when your father's time comes may he go with a smile on his face, content with all that he has done in this life, and with the peace of mind that those he loved and those that loved were content with him too.

    Have a lovely weekend!
    🙂

  10. Foz
    September 16, 2011 / 7:40 pm

    JazakAllah Khair for your comments and prayers Salma, Aiman and Nas x

    Thanks for the awards Aiman and InshAllah we will be reunited with our loved ones!

  11. Aisha
    September 19, 2011 / 11:18 am

    SubhanAllah u're so right, we should maintain our relationship with our parents, one day they'll leave this world and we'll be regretting that we didn't make more of an effort.. Jazak Allahu Khairan for the reminder

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