When to tell……..

munchkin that she is going to be a big sister inshAllah?
My parents are from the older generation who believe that young children do no need to know until you bring home the baby from the hospital. However, I want to prepare munchkin. She has had us to herself for 6 years and now that is all going to change. Her dad is likely to be going abroad soon after I have given birth so won’t be around to give her extra attention, and I am probably going to be zombified until I settle into some kind of routine with the baby.
My parents said they will keep munchkin until I am settled with the baby. However, I am totally against this as she will feel she has been gotten rid of to make room for the baby. She needs to be involved from day one.
So when to tell her? 
And HOW to tell her?!
In all honesty I think she is suspicious. She is hearing baby talk, she has picked up on the word ‘midwife’, although she doesn’t know what it means, and she has turned into my little conscience by reminding me I am not allowed cake or chocolate! 
My parents, even after telling me not to say anything to her, then asked her that if mum brought home a baby from the hospital what would you name it? So now I think she is definitely suspicious!
I have no problem with telling her. I am only putting it off for two reasons:
  • If I tell her now, I will constantly be asked EVERYDAY ‘when is the baby coming?!
  • I am dreading the question, ‘Where do babies come from?Photobucket
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16 Comments

  1. Apr 12, 2012 / 12:14 am

    Asalaam-ualaikum!
    I just discovered that for some reason I haven't been getting updates from your blog on my blogger, and have just been getting reacquainted with it. So I know it's very very late, but many congratulations! May Allah swt grant you the healthiest of babies who will inshaAllah be a source of comfort and peace to you and your family!
    These posts you're doing about pregnancy are so enlightening mashaAllah, I think it's awesome that you're blogging about it. It's so interesting to read for inshaAllah when my loved ones and inshaAllah God willing when I go through it!
    Looking forward to more posts inshaAllah.
    Many duas x

  2. Apr 12, 2012 / 2:17 am

    Hey iv been reading ur blog everyday of late and i like everythng gr8 post bdw.
    Anyhu comethru my Fashion blog 2 xumtym and follow bk like you promised u will

  3. Inspiring Always
    Apr 12, 2012 / 6:58 am

    I think you should tell her right away and get her involved. I do understand the frustrations of answering those two questions! Can't give much advice on how to handle those – perhaps read some books or find out from the internet?

  4. Apr 12, 2012 / 9:12 am

    Speaking of this matter, I remember my mother's 'training' to me when I was going to have a younger sibling, five years apart from me. As a resultant I was incredibly excited and prayed everyday to have a baby sister. Well, up until now I have been a caring and devoted older sister. At least that's what I think. 😀

    Being a mother is great and awfully tough at the same time.
    Best wishes Foz! 🙂

  5. Apr 12, 2012 / 2:02 pm

    Assalamu Alaikkum sister,

    And a third question would be the most embarrassing – how will baby come out from your tummy..! I swear Liya asked me this, a couple of months ago, when one of my neighbor and my close friend was about to deliver. She was so confused how will baby come out and was constantly asking me. So you can expect more questions from a 6 year old, indeed..!

    Apart from that, if I were you, I would tell my daughter that she is gonna be a big sis. Like you mentioned, as she was enjoying the love and care from everyone, flowing only to one her, a new addition all of sudden might disturb her mind. Adjusting life with a newborn around is very tough. Still, my opinion is that you should not send her to your parents place after new born has come…

    I guess their innocent questions can still be answered- Allah gave us the baby and baby will take 9 months to come etc. I guess that's a little easy deal compared our older kid feeling left out after arrival of bro/sis.

    By the way, I'm not an expert in the field and my opinions are just what I would do in such a condition, not necessarily applicable everyone..:)

    May Allah make everything easy for you! Aameen!

    *Hugs and Love*

    Liya and Nishana

  6. Foz
    Apr 12, 2012 / 8:38 pm

    Wa alaikum asalaam.
    Thank you for your comment and congratulations.

    Ameen to your dua and glad you are finding my pregnancy posts interesting. x

  7. Foz
    Apr 12, 2012 / 8:39 pm

    Thanks for dropping by… but I don't remember ever promising you I would follow your blog….

  8. Foz
    Apr 12, 2012 / 8:40 pm

    Will have a search around the internet…there must be some tips on how to answer the questions.

  9. Foz
    Apr 12, 2012 / 8:41 pm

    Thanks for your comments Sui. I think I need to start 'training' munchkin soon!

  10. Foz
    Apr 12, 2012 / 8:43 pm

    Wa alaikum asalaam

    LOL how could I forget that 3rd question. That scares me too! How did you answer Liya?

    Even though my parents live just 5 mins away I wont be sending her there. It could affect her in unseen ways.

    Thanks for your tips. Having my 20 week scan in 3 weeks so will tell her after that inshAllah.
    x

  11. Apr 12, 2012 / 11:26 pm

    Salam, If you are going to see the gender of the baby, you could tell H she is going to have a x-baby inshaallah, it's her baby etc. like giving her responsibility. That's what I did even J was much younger that time with R, my mum said I could tell like this and could see she felt happy to 'own' something haha.. After baby was born, her first words to him: 'My baby…' and she was in love mashaallah wa alahamdulillah hehhe.. I hope it all goes easy for you inshaallah..

  12. MarieHarmony
    Apr 13, 2012 / 12:40 pm

    I would tell her straight away, surely you'll have to deal with many questions, but she will be so happy to get involved and will have time to get ready for when the baby comes.
    I don't have much experience with children but I think sometime you just need to explain the things the way they are, you can maybe find tips and advices on Internet or in books.
    Take care dear and hope you are feeling better these days. xx

  13. Aisha
    Apr 14, 2012 / 12:36 am

    i also think you should tell her, sooner rather than later, then perhaps let her follow the baby's development? you know week by week? that might be really facinating for her InshaAllah

  14. Foz
    Apr 14, 2012 / 8:55 am

    wa alaikum asalaam.

    Having my 20 week scan in 3 weeks, not decided yet if want to find out the gender…but think will tell her after the scan once baby has been checked over.

    Aww mashAllah that was so cute of J

  15. Foz
    Apr 14, 2012 / 8:57 am

    Thank you, planning to tell her properly after my next scan. x

  16. Foz
    Apr 14, 2012 / 8:58 am

    yeah that is a good idea… x

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