Can you believe little Bee turned 2 over a week ago?
Time has flown…and in some ways it has dragged as well……if that makes sense.
I won’t deny it, there have been times I have struggled.
When I have been at the end of my tether.
So much so that friends were getting worried that I was suffering from PND.
I guess it was a combination of some family issues, not returning to work and being stuck at home 24/7. Or what felt like being stuck at home 24/7. Having to rely on my hubby financially, when before when I was working I was earning more than him.
I started doubting myself as a parent. Thinking I should never have had children if I was feeling like this. That I was not cut out to be a mother.
The number of times I simply wanted to pack my bags and run away…I needed some time to myself. Which I wasn’t getting at all.
My hubby is no good when it comes to helping with looking after the girls. He is always at work. And when he is at home he doesn’t do the nappy changes or baths etc. So I was beginning to feel like a single mother. Still do sometimes if I am honest.
But you know what?
It HAS all been worth it. And I feel guilty for even thinking I didn’t want to be a mum.
Bee, although she is showing signs of starting to have temper tantrums is a loving child and is a right little character.
If you are not smiling she will come up to you and ask if you are ‘sad’. She goes around saying SHE is sad if something does not go her way.
She asks for hugs if she knows I am not happy and will give me a kiss.
She loves singing nursery rhymes and will chat away to her dad and grandparents on the phone.
She has started saying hello and waving to random people on the street. And the dogs get a ‘hello doggy’ too.
She gives the parents we chat to on the school run a ‘high five’ if they ask.
When she is angry she gives you this angry look, bending her head and looking at you from under her eyelashes.
She has started trying to test my limits, but that is all a part of growing up and her gaining her independence and confidence.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
When she starts nursery I will be glad of the ‘me time’ but I will miss her too.
The neighbours love her too and my elderly neighbour always asks for a hug when we come across her out the front…and she gets one. Bee has started looking out for her too when we go out the front door.
I can’t believe my baby is 2.