Children just being children? Really?!

Asalaam Alaikum/Hi all

I am sick of the phrase ‘Well it is just children being children’.

Ok, fair enough in some cases it is. However in others I see it as an excuse for a child’s bad behaviour.

Is it really a ‘child being a child’ when they misbehave to the extent of pulling another child’s hair or hitting another child?

I am sorry but my daughter is a child and she does not do that, nor would she do that as I find it unacceptable behaviour. If she did I would stamp on that kind of behaviour immediately. Some parents will just say ‘Oh s/he is just a kid; it doesn’t matter’.

Well excuuuuuuse me but I think it DOES matter.

I wanted my daughter to learn Tae Kwon Do but she is a shy little thing and didn’t get anywhere with it. I am now going to push her to learn it or to learn karate. She needs to know how to defend herself. Kids these days can be brutal.

She mentions another child (girl) who apparently pulls the other girls hairs and will hit them (I am yet to discover if this hitting is playful or serious).

I told her to tell the teacher. She said she does sometimes but she doesn’t care anymore – probably because the teachers say it doesn’t matter.

My blood boiled at the thought of some random kid pulling my daughters hair so I turned round and said well just do it back to her. I know some parents will be outraged by this but nowadays you need to stick up for yourself.

However my daughter has a little bit more sense than me.  She said ‘Oh no mum, you shouldn’t do that! MashAllah my 5 year old giving me a lesson on how to behave.

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  • Assalamu Aleykum,

    I totally agree with you on this one.I believe good manners must be taught and implemented as early as possible.young children are totally able to understand what is right and wrong, especially when they have reached the school age.
    MashALLAH your daughter seems to be such a cute little girl, I couldn't help but smile when I read what she replied you!

  • If you don't teach your kids to behave at an early age, what do you expect for the future. They can understand what is right or wrong. Remember my time at school, my dad had to go to see the parents of the kids who were treating me badly. And he never took "they are only kids" for an answer. I was a bit like your daughter and I smiled when I read her answer. She will learn to defend herself, without hurting others. It might take some time but she will. Telling you from experience.

  • Salam! 😀
    I'm totally agree with you, is true that many parents are not controlling their children, and also when they misbehave they do nothing about it, on the contrary, as you said they only sit still and say that this are kid stuff. InshaAllah, I hope this don't happens to me, and I wish I'll educate my children well and im the straight path of Allah

  • Wa alaikum asalaam um zakarya

    Exactly. Children at 4/5 should know right and wrong. MashAllah my munchkin is clearly more cool headed than me!

    Thanks for your advice Marie, So sorry you were treated badly at school and thanks for the reassurance that she will learn to defend herself.

    Wa alaikum asalaam Laila. InshAllah you will make a great mum sis!

  • Asalamu alaikum,
    We started to teach our son "please/thank you" very young, and if he starts to pick up bad behaviors/language, we explain right away why he shouldn't do/say that. He is alhamdulillah, very well behaved and now tells other kids not to use foul language.

    If you don't teach them young, you can't complain later when they don't listen.

  • Wa alaikum Asalaam sis Aishah. Welcome to my blog 😀

    Exactly, we must teach them young. MashAllah it is good he is telling others not to use foul language!