Being the youngest in my family by 9 years led to me being…well I guess ‘pampered’ to some extent. My sister is 10 years older than me and she generally used to do the cooking and cleaning. I had a relatively easy life and just had to concentrate on my education.
Don’t get me wrong. Every now and then my mum would hurl abuse in my direction especially once my sister had got married and she was having to do everything. Telling me I should learn how to cook. What will I do when I get married? You see in Asian Pakistani families, it’s all about knowing how to cook. Well for the girls anyway.
But I rebelled. I wasn’t going to have a rolling pin thrown in my direction when something went wrong.
I was, I suppose, the evil child. Still am I guess compared to my sister.
The one with who shouting didn’t work; in fact made me more determined not to learn.
I was a stubborn cow.
I went to uni and lived on takeaways.
Finished my education and then got married.
Oh heck. I still couldn’t cook.
Shock horror!
But after marriage we lived at my parents for a while so I still didn’t have to cook.
I only really learnt when we got our own house and I had no choice in the matter.
Alhamdulillah I had a hubby who didn’t complain and ate my disasters.
But my confidence was knocked by my family.
If I ever took a dish around, they always found fault. Even if something was actually decent my mum wouldn’t like it. It was nothing like my sisters cooking.
I started believing I was a terrible cook. If any of my hubby’s friends came my mum told me to go round to their house and she would cook because I couldn’t handle it and our house was small.
I was made to feel ashamed of my cooking and of my ‘small’ house.
But I realised on Christmas Day I have nothing to be ashamed of and I can cook for hubby’s friends. Circumstances led to them coming to our house and I doing the cooking. I panicked slightly. Decided to make two dishes for the mains and desserts incase something went wrong, I was totally not confident. But Alhamdulillah it all turned out OK.
The menu was:
Roast chicken legs for starters.
Chicken Biryani
Salad and Raita (yoghurt)
Gohst Aloo (Meat which was sheep and potato curry) to be served with chapatti.
Trifle and Halwa (semolina pudding)
Now I know that I can do it and won’t let anyone knock my confidence. I am in no way a brilliant cook, but I am not as bad as I was beginning to think. In 2014 I will be trying out new recipes and blogging about them all here.
If anyone else wants to get more experimental in their cooking then feel free to join me, am hoping to set up a monthly linky where we can blog about our new dishes. Let me know if you would like to join in!
Wow – it all looks yummy to me! I think that I can cook a bit but I’m no expert. It’s a shame that you felt that you couldn’t because of your family – sometimes families can be old-fashioned to the point of stubborness, but I am sure that they have your best interests at heart. And anyway I bet they would be well impressed with this little lot! š
Thank you! I am sure they would still find fault :/
I know the feeling about lack of confidence. I think mine is similar in that I lived with my inlaws for a few years, mil would cook and people would critisise mine. Now like you I know I can do it but i still do worry about cooking for people incase of any cooking disasters!!
The comments stay with you don’t they? And niggle away…..we need to stop worrying!
I think they look fantastic!
I am in no way a brilliant cook but I try and I actually get incredibly frustrated because my husband is a chef so always tends to take over! I know he is only trying to help but it seems he can’t help himself but to test and “help”. Still, always works out well.
Here’s to 2014 being a year of you challenging yourself as a cook! xx
Thanks!! I’m not keen on cooking in general so wish my hubby would take over lol!
wow, what a feast! We are also trying to broaden our food horizons, just another thing on the ever expanding 2014 to do list! I would love to share them if I get a chance to take some photos before we eat everything š
Great! Look forward to seeing your photos hopefully!
I think your food looks amazing! I especially want to eat the salad & raita right now, for breakfast š Lizzie
Thank you!!
That’s such a positive way to start 2014…I think your food looks delicious. I have never really cooked and feel pretty much unable too…I would love to be able to cook even one of the dishes you have here. Looking forward to reading more about the dishes you’re cooking.
I’m determined to stay positive in 2014!
I agree with Globalmouse – what a positive way to start 2014 – and what yummy looking food. Having had my confidence knocked by inlaws in the past I’ve started to handle criticism that’s really not needed in a different way, but vowing never to act like it to my children or their partners when they are older. Good on you!
Yes I am exactly the same, I have vowed not to treat my kids in that way and be encouraging to them rather than criticising!
It looks good!! Well done Foz, you’re right, don’t let anybody knock your confidence. For me, it was the other way around. My family was quite please of me being able to cook (thinking one day I shall marry and knowing how to cook was an essential). Thought when I did get married, the guy would never ever eat food he did not look, not even talking about my disasters. I became the worst cook of history. At the end of my not so great marriage, I was afraid of cooking. How horrible, when in fact I like cooking. I am not so good at it, but I like it!!
Aww Marie that is a shame. Do not let it destroy your love of cooking x
| want to get back to blogging more about food next year and going vegan is a good place to start for me.I have recipes I’ve always fail on, so I blame the recipe and not me š I look forward to seeing what you cook next year.
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Lol yes, it is always the recipes fault š
looking forward to seeing what you cook in the new year, new year positive attitudes yer! š x
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Definitely positive attitudes in 2014!
Anyone who can produce food that looks that good is definitely not useless.
Good luck with your resolution.
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Thank you!! The camera made it look better š
Despite being raised on microwaveable lasagnes and never taught how to so much as boil an egg, it turns out I’m actually a bit of a ‘foodie’. I get great satisfaction from making my own dishes and feeding my family. It helps immensely that my husband shares this joy (an appreciative recipient is priceless).
Every time another food scandal hits the headlines we feel blessed that we know exactly what goes into what we consume and give our children.
I’ve had my periods of low cooking confidence, and I seem to have peaks and troughs of culinary creativity, but if you let curiosity lead you and make what you want to make, you can’t go wrong.
Looking forward to seeing what you post and maybe picking up a new recipe or two. You could tell me how you made that biryani for starters š
The biryani is actually the easiest thing. You can get packet mixes of the spices (Shaan packet mix) and it has all the instructions on how to cook it.
They look great to me – and cooking is all about trying and practice!
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Thank you!
Definitely will be practicing more now!
Good for you, I am glad it all went well and you feel so much more positive.
I run a MotivationalMonday linky and I aim to try to cook different meals so if you don’t mind me linky up my linky post then I’d love to join in yours.
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Would love you to join in. Will take a look at your linky to!
Well done you, for not listening, for not believing and for having a go. PLUS your photos look delicious, I’m reading this before eating and am positively drooling.
I’d love to tackle asian cooking so I’ll be very interested to see what recipes you blog as we are great curry lovers in this house
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Great, hope you get some good recipes from me to try out!
What a fabulous post! I’m sure your cooking is amazing, the meal you put together sounds incredible. Definitely don’t be judged by those around you, just focus on those empty plates š
Thank you! Yes empty plates is usually a good sign!
The chicken legs and halva especially look wonderful!
I have a mother-in-law who is an amazing cook. I hate cooking for her as there is always something she will comment on. Well done for sticking to your guns!
Thank you. The halwa was lovely! It was only my second time of making it aswell! Thankfully it is nice and easy!
Really good on you for believing in yourself and still giving it a jolly good go after so many knock backs, but also, that food looks delicious! *tummy rumbles* š
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Thank you. I’d stopped believing in myself…won’t be doing that again!
I can relate with this post, because I too have a lack of confidence in cooking due to others criticism. Well, not only, cooking, but many other aspects too. Little do people realise hurtful words could make a person inhibit their talents and abilities.
More power to you. And yay. More yummy cooking.
It is such a shame when people feel the need to constantly criticise!
I have lots of disasters – I just try again until it works out as it should.
Well done you x xx
Oh my goodness, I feel so sad about your mom, but hey you went to law school and you can cook. She can always eat her words, but I guess surprising her with yummy food would be much better š
Happy New Year!
There’s no shame in making mistakes and learning how to cook. My mom didn’t know how to cook until a while after she was married. My father was patient and his mother (my mom’s mother-in-law) were very helpful so she taught her how to cook. Don’t worry about what anyone says; you can do this!
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Definitely no shame in it!