Are we putting too much pressure on our kids?

Asalaam Alaikum/Hi All
I came across this article yesterday and it got me thinking.
Two-year-olds ‘to be given compulsory education checks’

Why do two year old’s need to be given compulsory checks? Apparently it is to identify early developmental problems and diagnose special needs at a young age’.

Excuse me?

Aren’t we told that each child is individual and every child develops at different paces? So how is this going to work?

I fear that this will be another reason for parents to get competitive. ‘Oh my child did so well in the 2 year old checks’ making another parent feel miserable if their child didn’t. Maybe the child who doesn’t do well is premature and therefore a little behind. Will they take account of this? 

It will be interesting to see how this all pans out.

It got me thinking though about my attitude towards munchkins schooling. I must admit that I currently have a laid back approach. I guess some parents may think I am being lazy about her education.

Of course I want her to do well but I refuse to put undue pressure on her. She is only 5! I do not care if she is not top of the class so long as she does her best. 

I guess this attitude is a result of the way my parents were with me and my education. I got 10 GCSE’s but SHOCK HORROR I got ONE C Grade. 

Yes you read that right. 

I got a C grade. 

Have you all recovered for the feeling of disgust that it wasn’t an A? If so I will continue.

Rather than say ‘Well done with your results’, I got a ‘You shouldn’t have got a C’.

Do you know how that makes you feel? You work hard, you get the second best results in the school, (it wasn’t a high achieving school) and the comment you get is ‘You shouldn’t have got a C’.

From that day I promised myself that if I ever had a child I would be proud no matter what grades s/he got so long as s/her had done her/his best. I also vowed never to put undue pressure on any of my children.

I just think if you put too much pressure on a child then they will stop enjoying learning. Munchkin loves learning mashAllah. She herself will get out her reading book and will say she wants to read it. InshAllah this will continue.

I’m not saying I will not encourage her to do well. I simply will not pressure her.

She is currently in reception and to be honest I am chilled out about it and just going with the flow. She moves into Year 1 in September so I will take more of an interest. However, I refuse to be one of these demanding parents who just has to have their child in the top group.

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  • Beautiful post! I can totally relate to some of the things you have mentioned.
    The hardest thing for a child (or any individual) is when they work their socks off and rather than appreciating the effort, they are judged on their result. It is truly more rewarding to prize the efforts than the prize itself.

    And I think there's a lot of stuff the government is doing that is making school so much less enjoyable.


  • Salaam alaykum,

    Nice post indeed. Don't want to pressure mine aswell, for me that works totally opposite. The more I was told to do something, the less I did.

  • :Nas Thanks for your comment…. was in one of my annoyed moods lol so just quickly wrote this post!

    So true what you have said…best thing is to do is to reward the efforts which will in turn encourage them to try to do even better.

    @umm Mini….Yes I am like that too… if someone tries to push me to do something, especially if it is something I don't want to do I go the opposite way. My parents pushed me to do Maths A-level. That was the subject I got a C in. I hated it, made no effort and failed it.