Asalaam Alaikum/Hi All
Well no need to beat around the bush; it is all going to happen to us one day. I have been thinking about death alot recently but I will leave that for another day – I don’t want to completely depress you all today!
I have a picture of my eldest brother in my living room. This brother died many years ago when he was 26 – inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon. (We belong to Allah (swt) and to him we shall return).
He would have been 42 this year.
The picture was tucked away in the corner of the living room. I had a bit of a clean over the weekend and removed some of the things that were in front of his picture. Munchkin today noticed it and actually asked who he was.
Now I want my daughter to know bout her uncle even though he died a long time before she was born. I am planning on telling her all about him inshAllah. This time though I kept it brief and said he was her uncle and if he was around he would have loved her very much.
Next question: ‘Where is he?’
Tough question considering I have not discussed death with her yet as I have had no reason to. Even though my brother died 15 years ago I still find it very difficult to talk about him. The circumstances in which he died were tragic and severely affected the whole family. We rarely talk about him because if we do we pretty much end up in tears, especially my mum.
I said he had died but clearly she didn’t understand. So I said he was in Pakistan (which is the truth as he is buried there). She seemed satisfied with that for now and went back to her game, leaving me to breathe a sigh of relief. I was getting emotional just explaining that to her!
I don’t know whether to sit down and try to discuss it with her properly? I just think 5 is too young. Or am I being too over protective again?
If anyone has any tips on handling this I would be grateful to hear them. Have your young children had to deal with death in any way? How did you explain it to them?