Asalaam Alaikum/Hi all
One thing that annoyed the hell out of me on my recent trip to Pakistan was the way everyone seemed to think it was OK to comment on the fact I only have one child.
As my friend stated in her guest post here, MYOB!!!
Mind your own business!!
Not once did anyone think to ask me if it was my choice that I still only have one child, but immediately recommended that I go see a fertility doctor.
Now I could have told them all to get lost, as frankly I don’t care what people think of me. However as I was only there for 3 weeks I did not want to upset my in laws and humiliate them by telling people where to go, so I kept my mouth shut and almost bit off my tongue in the process. I also realised that if I got on the defensive and didn’t go see this specialist they would assume that there is something wrong with me and that is why I do not want to see anyone.
I almost lost my temper when people thought it was OK to ask my 5 year old daughter when she was going to get a brother or sister. I was itching to slap them one. What kind of question is that to ask a 5 year old, even in jest?
The icing on the cake was when someone said that if I had another child I could have left one in Pakistan to keep my mother in law company……..yeah when hell freezes over, lady!
I am not sure if this only happens in the Asian community (Pakistani) but it seriously does my head in. It is no ones business but mine and my husbands how many children we have.
So butt out people!!!!!
This is my number 1 pet peeve!!! I cant stand it when "others" whether they are friends, family or aquaintances feel it is their right to ask personal questions such as this. Once you have two, they want to know when number 3 is coming. Once number 3 is here, they want to know when number 4 is here, and so on. They are never content!!! Whats the rush? Im 31 and have a 15 month old and Im not even contemplating having more until shes at least 3… Yet friends, and family etc want to know when Ill be having another one. I find this especially true with muslims. Im a convert so my family isnt too pushy, but when im around other muslim women the topic of children comes up so quickly I dont even get a chance to tell them how i am. anyway, dont let it bother you. I think its a cultural thing where ones status is defined by how many children you have (ugh)
Unless they want to come and change diapers, get up multiple times at night to feed a newborn and so on, they really need to stop asking!!!!
Salaam alaykum,
Unfortunately I hear this from all sides. Not only asian community.