Reflections 2011

A couple of lovely bloggers, Marie and Salma, have a project which I have decided to participate in.
Chasing Rainbow
Simply, I need to write about what I learnt in 2011.
I initially wasn’t going to post as most of what I have learnt is not particularly positive, but then thought well if that is what I have learnt, then I am going to share it. Life isn’t always perfect anyway.
So what have I learnt?
1. To look after myself and not rely on anyone.
I do care alot for family and friends but I often find that when I need someone, hardly anyone is there to support me, either because they lead their own busy lives or because they are selfish and just expect me to always be there for them but don’t have the time for me.

2. The word ‘family’ means nothing to some people.
I have seen alot of drama in peoples lives, including our own, and I have realised that the word ‘family’ means nothing to some people. They treat their own family like dirt and with no respect. They cannot bear to see people happy and will do anything to try to destroy them. Avoid these people at all costs; even if they are family.
3. I have learnt that talking is good.
I am one of those people that bottles things up. Like a volcano the emotions build up until I let rip. Either by feeling miserable for a few days and crying at anything or just shouting and banging cupboards and dishes for a bit. This year I learnt that it is good to talk. It hasn’t been easy and I have had friends ‘hassling’ me to talk to the people concerned. (Thank you to my friends, you know who you are). This is still something I need to work on as I am not ‘big’ on communicating.

4. I have learnt that being patient is darn hard work!
So if someone is treating you like crap then you get to the stage where you start thinking ‘well I am going to treat them the same way’. Not a good idea. Being the better person always can be tough but you don’t want to stoop to their level.
“…Bear with patience whatever befalls you….” (Qur’an 31:17)
5. Don’t let anyone shatter your dreams.
I have come across people who try to ridicule your ideas and dreams by saying that they are not possible. Be careful as sometimes these people aren’t saying it for your benefit but because they are scared of what you can achieve.
I think I will end here before I depress you all and myself. 
Now don’t get me wrong. 2011 wasn’t as bad as this post is making it sound, it is just these are the major things I learnt.

‘Verily, after hardship comes ease.’

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  • Assalamu Alaykum Foz,
    =) Very nice post. I'm not good at communicating also, most of the time i'm quiet. lol. May 2012 be a better year for you, insha'Allah =) May Allah grant you patience and strength, ameen

  • Aww, Foz, I am so happy that you joined the project, howeber, I understand your reluctance in sharing the negative aspects of what you've learned.

    Everything that you have written here, makes me think of what has happened to my life in 2011. #s 3 & 5 in particular resonate with my experiences, *and* I agree with you fully, there is no point keeping it bottled up and exploding, it is better that you speak about it, or blog about it, lol.

    #5…oh this is the hard part. What I did a few weeks ago was due mostly to this issue. It's all for the best if you can put yourself first and not compromise your principles by stooping to anyone's level.

    May Allah bless you and your family, and may he always give you the strength to put your needs first (with Allah's blessings).

    I loev you for the sake of Allah and want to thank you for sending lots of love my way when I was going through tough times.


    Happy New Year!

  • I gather that your lessons were filled with turmoil and that you basically, learned these things the hard way. BUT on the upside, when I remove the negative tone (only due to the hardship of your lessons), you learned some very positive things:

    To be strong and that strength comes from inside; That not everyone has the same values as you do and that you learned to align yourself with people who support who you are and what you value; To talk things out; That patients is its own reward; To do things that resonate with who you are instead of in reaction to who someone else is; To follow your dreams.

    As hard as the actual experience of the lesson must've been for you, I trust that you can look at these and assimilate them, knowing that they are fully worth all the hardship you had to undergo.

    Love and blessings for 2012

  • Wa alaikum asalaam sis Dana. Ameen! I know it is hard but you should try to communicate… I have actually lost friends in the past because I found it so difficult to talk.

    Thank you Salma, I wasn't sure I should post it as didn't want to bring too much negativity into your project! It is sad that so many can relate to what I have said but that is life!

    Thank you for your lovely comment Nadya. Yes it has certainly been hard having to learn these lessons but at the end of the day they have made me a better and stronger person; I just need to remember these lessons x

  • I especially like your comment that being patient is hard work — it is! But also essential. And I definitely agree to disregard people who try to tear down your dreams. I think maybe they do it out of insecurity and bitterness, because they have let go of their own dreams. So sad for them, but doesn't mean I have to knuckle under to their limitations.

    Bless you. You are in my heart and prayers.

  • I am so happy you decided to join Foz, Even if these lessons sounds negative, what you have learnt is positive for the future.
    I can only agree with you on #3#4.

    I realized talking was more than good, it was quite hard for me too at the beginning, as I have always been very quiet, but it saved me to start getting things out and communicating, opening my heart.
    Patience, Patience, how bad I am at this. Thanks for quoting this verse of the Qur'an, it gives perspective to things.
    And the last one talk to me in many ways. That's true people are afraid to see you take roads they are afraid to take and see you succeed. So they try everything to stop you because they feel worse not pursuing there dreams.

    May in 2012 you experience ease and peace. Thank you for your support and words of comfort all along the year. You have been a true friend.
    Take care and may God send you and your family many blessings. xx

  • It's sad that you've had to learn those things but it's good that you have, at least you can take those lessons forward and hopefully live a happier life now