I love my girls.
But every now and then, when my hormones turn me into a monster, the lack of sleep makes me feel like a zombie, and being stuck at home just doing the cooking and cleaning makes me feel brain dead, I sometimes say I am fed up.
I sometimes say the girls are tiring me out.
I sometimes say they are doing my head in.
Does that make me ungrateful?
Unthankful? ( <--- is that actually a word?)
A selfish cow?
I haven’t had a decent nights sleep since the end of my final trimester. Bee just doesn’t sleep well and at 7 months is still waking for a feed at 3am (ish). And any other mum knows how exhausting that is. So that’s pretty much a whole year without a full nights sleep.
You learn to get used to it and function, but your body seems to be tired all the time.
And every now and then I do get upset.
I KNOW how lucky I am that I have 2 gorgeous healthy girls.
But why can’t I moan now and then that I’m tired, drained, without people reminding me I should be grateful! I AM grateful.
Why remind me about how my sister is desperate for children after 2 miscarriages and struggling to conceive again. And I should be grateful.
No-one knows how much I felt guilty that I had conceived immediately when I hadn’t even wanted a child, when my sister couldn’t and was desperate for a child.
No-one knows how much my heart breaks for her when I see the love she has for my girls, a love that should be for her own children.
InshAllah she will have a child before it is too late.
It’s human nature to moan, especially when hormonal, and sometimes I just want a moan. Doesn’t mean I am not grateful and know how lucky I am.