I am not ungrateful!

I love my girls.
Unconditionally.
But every now and then, when my hormones turn me into a monster, the lack of sleep makes me feel like a zombie, and being stuck at home just doing the cooking and cleaning makes me feel brain dead, I sometimes say I am fed up.
I sometimes say the girls are tiring me out.
I sometimes say they are doing my head in.
Does that make me ungrateful?
Unthankful?  ( <--- is that actually a word?)
A selfish cow?
I haven’t had a decent nights sleep since the end of my final trimester. Bee just doesn’t sleep well and at 7 months is still waking for a feed at 3am (ish). And any other mum knows how exhausting that is. So that’s pretty much a whole year without a full nights sleep.
You learn to get used to it and function, but your body seems to be tired all the time.
And every now and then I do get upset.
I KNOW how lucky I am that I have 2 gorgeous healthy girls.
But why can’t I moan now and then that I’m tired, drained, without people reminding me I should be grateful! I AM grateful. 
Why remind me about how my sister is desperate for children after 2 miscarriages and struggling to conceive again. And I should be grateful.
No-one knows how much I felt guilty that I had conceived immediately when I hadn’t even wanted a child, when my sister couldn’t and was desperate for a child.
No-one  knows how much my heart breaks for her when I see the love she has for my girls, a love that should be for her own children.
InshAllah she will have a child before it is too late.
It’s human nature to moan, especially when hormonal, and sometimes I just want a moan. Doesn’t mean I am not grateful and know how lucky I am.
Alhamdulillah.

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  • I have an 9 month old daughter and I understand what your going through. I'm totally grateful for her and I feel truly blessed. But at the moment she is teething and I'm not sleeping. I think every mum feels the same as you when they are tired and stressed. Big hug coming your way.

  • Thanks for your kind comment…I think my daughter is teething too as she is really unsettled at night at the moment.

    Hope your daughter settles soon so you can get some sleep x

  • You're not ungrateful at all! Sleep deprivation is an absolute killer…and apart from that, there are always days when you're fed up and have just had enough. You're human, and I think all mums feel like this at some point (I know I do, and I only have one child). Everyone's allowed to have bad days and weeks. It doesn't mean you don't love your children and are not a brilliant mum x.

  • That's more than normal dear Foz – sleep deprivation takes the best out of you and you have the right to say it's too much to bear. That does not mean you don't love your girls and you are not thankful for having them. Being a mum is a tough job and every day is not a fun and happy day. Some are harder than others.
    Stay as you are and don't mind moaning from time to time and let people talk. Take care, hope Bee will be better soon.
    xxx

  • I feel you there. Hormones and lack of sleep can create an awful mood. Going through that regularly, with my 3 little ones

    insha'Allah your sister will get what she wants.

  • I agree u r not selfish or ungrateful at all. You r human! I tried to have babies for 4 yrs, but even still there r days when I feel tired, stressed and overwhelmed. Go easy on urself sis x