I have been taking Bee to baby group for quite a while now, but since hubby has been away we have been going regularly without fail. Bee loves it, and I love it because she gets tired and generally falls asleep on the way home and then is knocked out for a good 2 hours.
We go to 2 different groups. One is usually quite busy and and the other is quieter. We prefer the quieter one, not just because it is smaller but the staff are friendlier.
The bigger group does have some mums that are busy chatting and don't keep an eye on their kids. And those kids are usually the ones that go around battering others if they get in their way. Bee was shoved a few times by the slighter older ones and it did annoy me, but usually a 'look' told the other kid not to mess with my kid.
Now the quieter group is much more pleasant. However there was a bit of a drama last week and it seems to have resulted in a regular parent no longer attending. Which is sad. And it was all because one parent was over sensitive.
A new lady joined the group, she seemed young and didn't seem to want to speak to anyone, take that to mean it seemed like she already had a chip on her shoulder.
Now there is one boisterous kid in the group, who does seem to want to investigate the new kids. Now while the mums were busy chatting to others, it seems the new kid got shoved or something by the boisterous one.
This was clearly BOTH parents fault as they weren't paying attention.
Following that, the boisterous kid was followed closely by her mum, and when she went to grab the new kid her mum stopped her immediately. However, new kids mum grabbed her, and with a face like thunder, walked out.
The staff then spoke to both set of parents and now neither of them have been seen again.
Which is a real shame as the regular mum was lovely and really helped when it was packing up time. I really hope she feels she can return.
The same thing happened to Bee today. She was getting pushed by another child. Maybe I should have stormed out too.
But no.
I know that some kids are like that. I had a baby try to grab my glasses and then try to grab Bee's face, which upset her.
It happens.
Some kids are just like that.
So long as the parents are watching their child and tell them that behaviour is wrong then that's fine. How else are they going to learn?
It would be annoying if a parent wasn't watching their child and then your child gets bullied every week by the same child. But a random incident shouldn't cause you to get into a strop and walk straight out.
The big wide world is a scary place. We can't keep them protected all the time.
That’s the way it works. Surely, every parent should say stop when their child does not behave properly. But we should also understand these things happen and that’s not the end of the world.
I read your husband is on his way home, good for all of you!
Take care Foz and Much Love. xx
It’s amazing that some.parents still want to wrap their kids in cotton wool when in reality.it won’t help them. It’s usually a double standard way aswell because they.aren’t usually as upset if it’s their child in the wrong.
Well good luck to the parent who took her kid out of there- the real world starts now and we can’t leave our kids in bubbles all day. It does break your heart if you see your kid being bullied etc, but as you said one incident doesn’t say everything. Perhaps, she is going through a hard time and didn’t really know how to handle it- also, PERHAPS, this is her first child and she doesn’t get it- Yet. I have changed a lot since my first kid š
He’s back in 5 days x
I agree with you! They are all only babies and toddlers and sometimes these things happen, just everyone supervise their kids and eventually they will all learn. You can not take it personally if one baby accidently pushes another – no need to leave a group over it!
I couldn’t agree more. Kids only learn from their mistakes, so they have to experience both being told off and having something done to them that deserves a telling off. That way they learn from the experiences and know how to react, and not to do it again…sometimes us parents need to take a long hard look at our actions too!
I’m a firm believer in children will grow up testing boundaries and on occasions venting their frustrations by shoving and so on. As parents I think we should be keeping an eye on our children at groups like this and dealing with such incidents as calmly as possible thus setting the best example for the children involved.
It’s always hard seeing your own child getting pushed by another child but the key is to keep the intital rage of ‘the little b*gger!* inside and stay calm. Those who frogmarched out aren’t doing their children any favours sadly x
Oh, how sad that such a normal incident has resulted in fall out. We go to several toddler groups a week, and there are always occassions when things get snatched, or kids give each other a shove- that is pretty par for the course for a room full of 2/3 year olds. As you say, the parent of the ‘wrong doer’ usually steps in and tells them off, but we all know that we don’t see everything! In fact the main reason I go to playgroup is so Syd learns not to snatch etc, as he is so much younger than my other two that nobody really challenges him at home!
Such a shame about the Mums not returning to the group, the politics of playgroup can be overwhelming at times can’t they?
Totally agree. My husband goes to all the baby groups because he’s the SAHP, but I think you have to practice a combination of supervising your child, and accepting that babies and young children only learn about the world and its rules by exploring, and pushing boundaries. What a shame that people have felt the need to leave.
I completely agree, it is very frustrating that the parents of the pushy kids always seem to be chatting away. But I do make it into a learning opportunity for Ethan, as long as he’s not being hurt I try to let him deal with it himself, and if he is being hurt I step in and remove him from the situation and we have a chat about why what the other child did wasn’t nice. Storming out isn’t really teaching your child the lesson that you want to teach them, is it?
Oh my gosh! I completely agree with you!! This is not a case of bullying and seriously… Kids will be kids… These parents are just taking things wayyyy tooooo seriously!!
I have had 5 babies and been to many baby groups… You just have to get on with it and be able to accept many personalities and types of babies and children!
I hope you have a great week!
Tammy
I was always the mum who was busy chatting and not paying attention to my kids.I didn’t any mum friends so having the chance to talk to another adult was bliss.My kids did get pushed around and they pushed back too.Had I thought they were in any danger I would of been more overly concerned.
I think this is the rules of baby group isn’t it – you’ve just described everyone I have been to in many different areas.
You’re right – there are always lots of different types of people in each baby group, and when the kids misbehave, it usually is because both parents weren’t paying as much attention as they needed to. Hope that your regular mum does return. It sounds like she’ll be missed.
You’re right – there are always lots of different types of people in each baby group, and when the kids misbehave, it usually is because both parents weren’t paying as much attention as they needed to. Hope that your regular mum does return. It sounds like she’ll be missed.
Where does it leave us if the parents behave like children too!
The politics of playgroup are a nightmare! Sadly school is not better. I hope Bee continues to enjoy her time there and no one else shoves her about!, well done for not blowing your stack!
Yeah – seen this happen so many times! Parents can behave worse than kids sometimes!