Lately I have been thinking about forced marriages a lot.
What I want to do now is feature peoples stories on the blog.
To show the heart ache a forced marriage can cause.
To show the conflict people can feel, torn between their desire to keep their parents happy, and to themselves be happy.
To show the after affects on the forced parties.
And hopefully this will help make people think twice before doing this to their children.
I hope that as the new generation, this is something that we would not dream of ever putting our children through.
photo credit: hamidijaz via photopin cc
The first story to be shared is via a sister who found the strength not to be forced into marrying someone she didn’t want to and alhamdulillah is now happy:
My parents divorced when I was about 8 months old and my mother went on to remarry when I was about 3. This time into a different cast which her family did not approve of.
I grew up not knowing anything until the age of 16 when my mother was put under pressure to tell me who my father is. I chose to have no ties with the biological father. Anyhow, marriage age came and my maternal grandfather was adamant on getting me married into that side of the family as it was a shame upon the family if I married into my dads (stepfather) family. Grandad tried every trick in the book. even to the point where he threatened my mum. This put me off even more as being headstrong I was not having any of this. I had already my mind on whom I was to marry.
My grandad made me look like a liar in front of my mum when I told her how he woke me in the middle of the night and begged me to marry his friends son; a police officer. Such a tough time I faced but I was lucky that I had the ‘choose your life partner’ option from my parents.
Alhamdulillah for my husband. Everyone has their ups and downs but I cannot fault him in any way! I feel it is very important to have your parents support. Had my mum listened to my granddad, I know for sure I would have suffered as men on her side of the family are women beaters and think that is what makes them a man. Now my brother and sister are at that again my parents have given them the option.
As far as I am aware, forcing a child is just wrong. It isn’t even part of our religion, just a cultural practice which has unfortunately taken and ruined many lives and will continue to do so………
If you have a story you would like to share then please do feel free to contact me. All stories will be treated in the strictest of confidence.
I had no idea you felt this way 🙁 I am sorry I was not around for you when all this was happening. I am glad through your blog you have a voice. Our generation can change the world… Everyone has a voice that can be heard xxxx
Thanks hun, it was a difficult time. Hopefully our generation won’t get sucked into cultural unfair practices!
I am glad that you are writing about this Foz cause it’s very important subject. I remember that I read your story before. It must have been a difficult time. You never want to cause your parents pain. And a way or another you feel guilty, when the only thing you wish to have is the choice.
By talking about it, maybe we can change how people think and don’t allow the same mistakes to be made, again.
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So sad to read this! I wasn’t forced into marriage. My father did kind of talk me into acepting a proposal from my current husband. I said yes and agreed to meet him and see if I liked him. I ended up liking him and alhamdulileh happily married. But forcced marriages is still a thing today and it breask my heart to see women go through such thing.
I’m glad this story has a happy ending.