Ways to reduce your children’s bickering

‘Mum she won’t play with me.’

‘Mum she’s copying me.’

‘Stop looking at me.’

‘Stop it!’

‘Mum she won’t share.’

‘I want to play with that!’ Other child, ‘But I am playing with it.’

‘She’s coughing at me!’ (Other child sitting and coughing on the other side of the room).

And it goes on and on……….and on and on. To the point where I actually consider getting earplugs, blotting out the sound and leaving them to it.

I am not sure why but when pregnant with my second I thought it was going to be easy due to the age gap. The eldest was 6 when Bee arrived and I thought she would be a loving sister….look out for her younger sister, protect and care for her. It did seem to start like that…..but then as Bee got older and her personality really started to come through, things changed. But the eldest is now also a pre teen so we are getting to that moody, ‘I’m happier alone in my room’ stage.

As the bickering seems to have intensified to the point where I am on the verge of pulling my hair out,  I think I need to step in and do something about it. So what can you do if your children are constantly bickering?

Check your own behaviour

Are you doing anything that could be causing this bickering? Is one child getting more attention than another? If so resentment could be building up which then leads to the petty arguments.

Talk to the kids

Actually sit down and try to talk to the children and firstly see if there is an actual reason for the constant bickering. Find out if one child is actually feeling resentful? If s/he is then try to find a way to resolve this. IE if one child feels the other child is getting more attention then plan something that involves just the two of you.

Plan some activities that the children can do together

Find some games and activities that the children can do together. Something that actually involves a bit of teamwork may work better at getting them to try to work together.

Treat the kids fairly

Don’t always expect the eldest child to behave better just because they are older and really ‘should know better’. An over zealous toddler/preschooler can be quite annoying so recognise everyone has their limits.

Family time

Make sure you have some family time. Where the whole family get together and do something that everyone agrees on: a film, playing games, going out to eat, a day out.

Let them work it out

Sometimes you just need to step back and let them work it out – provided no hitting happens!


Do you have kids that constantly bicker? Anything that worked for you to reduce the amount of bickering? 


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